Do you punish yourself for not being where you want to be yet?
Do you compare your life to those around you?
Do you persistently try to please others?
Please stop (she say’s as she continues to do all these things).
If there is one thing I have learned in my blogging/shameless oversharing journey so far, it’s that our desire to attain perfection is destroying our perspective of motherhood. I have seen and talked to so many mums who are struggling to keep it all together. Myself being one of them. But why?
Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves?
We strive to be the perfect mum, the perfect wife, the perfect friend, and we look to others to see how to do this. We see other mums who appear to be doing it all, and doing it well, and all we really want to know is how to juggle ALL the balls like she does.
Let me share this with you…
She too has dropped a ball or two. She doubts herself and has the same negative thoughts that you do. The only difference is she isn’t willing to tell you that because she hasn’t yet learned that this is not how motherhood needs to be. She has not yet learned to surrender to the joy of NOT GIVING A F*** about what other people think.
Does my child eat sugar? Yes, she say’s NOT GIVING A F***
Does my child wear hand me down clothes? Yes, she says NOT GIVING A F***
Does my house look like a tip? Yes, she says NOT GIVING A F***
It really is quite fun once you get into the swing of it.
Anyway. Moving on.
The point I am trying to make is that we should be looking to other mums for inspiration, yes; but not as the destination. Their life is their own and they are doing their thing. But your life is yours and no one can take that from you. Your children chose you, you were made to be their mum. If we change our perspective and look to others as inspiration, not the destination, we can bring joy back to the daily grind that motherhood can be.
Social media is particularly damaging to our perspective. The carefully curated culture we are exposed to today is not real. Please don’t get caught up in comparing yourself with what you see as ‘the perfect mum’ on social media. You know the one…
…she makes the best packed lunches.
…she dresses her children in designer clothes.
…she doesn’t give her children sugar.
…she drives the latest Audi.
…she went back to size 6, three days after giving birth.
…she makes gourmet meals for her husband.
And she NEVER farts.
It is so important that you can see social media for what it is and create your own little circle that inspires you to be YOU. Follow people who genuinely make you feel good about your own life, not those who try to make you feel envious of theirs.
Personally, I love following other mums who genuinely share the real aspects of being a mum as well as the products that they rate and personally use. I don’t love following people who make me feel like my life isn’t as good as theirs because I don’t have ‘x,y or z’.
I love following people who post inspiring messages that lift my mood and make me feel good about myself. I don’t love following people who post egotistic messages that attempt to plant the seed of self doubt in my mind.
And so I have created my own little space where I see what I want to and avoid the things I don’t. You can too. Shape your perspective and bring back the joy.
Follow people who make you feel good about YOU, not them.
Follow people who inspire you to be YOU, not them.
And just live your best damn life the way YOU want to.
And while you’re muddling your way through just try to remember that she is muddling her way through too.
There is no perfect, only perspective.
Until next time.